I'm not going to lie, this was a TOUGH week. I am calling it my toughest and most stressful week of this year so far. It feels like life has been throwing everything at me, all at once... I've arrived at the end of the week in one piece, quite exhausted but breathing deeply. Even though it has been hard, the kindness I found along the way has been restorative and healing. I can't tell you how much I needed that. So although it has been off the charts in terms of crazy difficult - I'm going to focus on the goodness that happened in spite of it all because hindsight is a beautiful thing and it's in these times that we gain ground.
This week was Corks hardest exam week... and it was also the week she had to hand in her final application of Art School for next year. Her final piece was to do an architectural drawing, something she's actually never done before. We spent a few hours driving around our beautiful city to find a landscape that she felt connected to. It had to be a drawn from life - so she sketched up on the go. It was handshaking stuff, a few tears, quiet withdrawing and head down moments. The stress was tangible. We know it's going to be tough getting in this art school due to the limited spaces available but we continue to live in hope. If she doesn't get in then we go back to the drawing board but for now we exercise patience and grace while we wait. Corks is still training heavily through this time as she continues to race most weekends. Her training leaves her weeping some mornings. I'm not sure I fully understand her level of grittiness but it sure does break my heart. I wish I could make life easier for her at the moment but she is walking through this time with such grace and maturity. I'm here beside her and that's all I can do.
Digging deep together has been deeply bonding and right now I'm claiming all the moments I can get with her. My word for this year was {time} and I'm taking it... tough or not.
I must say I've been desperate to paint something bigger than a teabag but with so much stress, I've found it hard to focus. I'm also finding with the days warming up, my paints have been fighting with me a bit. Painting here this week felt physically painful and I haven't felt like that for a long time. I love where we stopped and I hope to continue with her and hope she will help me find my way home.
As tough as it was to get this far - it did calm me down quite a bit.
TeaBagGirls continue to show up. Even in the struggle of this time. I'm almost ready to drop off my next batch. And head into my next 40 TeaBag Batch.
Friday was a long day, I picked up my Mac from the Doctors after my mini crash. I got to spend 2 full hours with Kitty while we waited for Corks to come out of exams and when I got home I crashed on her bed capturing the final moments of light before the sun dipped behind the mountain. Forcing self nurture is as important as showing up.
Finding moments to be still, is kind... I hope you find these moments too.
Much love, me xoxox