Je suis fatigué...

I ended off 2017 fatigued.

I know it was the hardest year of Digby's life with his accident and recovery.  We still aren't there yet and just before we left for this trip, he had his 4th operation to remove another screw which has set him back again.  It has been so long and slow and we are feeling vulnerable about it.  As for my Kitty girl, I know she found this year particularly difficult as much as it was life changing for her.  For Corks and me, it was HUGE.

That being said, I am so grateful for ALL of it, utterly humbled too.

The goodness rolled in with the hardships, the mighty lessons learnt and even facing some of my biggest fears this year.   I love how growth is never without a bit of heartsore.  So I will embrace it even with it's twinge of pain.  Our minds and hearts and love have been expanded this year with the enormacy of it all.


We quietly retreated to my Folks farm for a week... I needed to see my Momma and Pops and I needed quiet and I desperately needed slow.

Except for the early morning sounds of goats, sheep, chickens, and geese... oh and my parents rising at 4am to do farm duties, it was so quiet and it was just what we all needed.  It was actually such a beautiful week.  By the end of the week we wished we had another one.


We slept in most mornings and quietly rose to coffee in the kitchen once my folks got back from their early morning dairy duties.  It was about long leisurely meals together, chatting in the cheesery while they made cheese, sitting by the pool, long lazy afternoon naps and quiet.  It was about family and honestly it felt like it was the best we had ever been together.  It was a gift and I am so grateful.


Our last day was spent slowly packing up and saying tender goodbyes.  We were leaving with heavy hearts.  I know coming home is always good too but I also knew getting home meant duties and that means responsibility and I wasn't ready for that yet.

I felt like I needed a little more time to hide from myself.