Surrender...

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In yoga the other day, my instructor mentioned the word "surrender" around 15 times.  Every time she said it, I knew the message was for me.  It keeps coming up for me.  I didn't choose my one word for this year.  I didn't have one and I didn't want to force something for the sake of it.  But I think this has inadvertently become my word and I'm finding it such a beautiful word too.  Kitty came past me the other day and I was internally struggling with much and she just whispered softly... "Just stop fighting".  I was stunned because of course, she knows these things, right.

Funny enough, I seem to find {letting go} in my "creative" life a little easier than in my "normal" life.  Being a more intuitive artist has helped me continuously push myself to let go of the good girl in my art.   When did I get so controlled in my "normal" life, I'm trying to go back and really think about it.  Was it a coping mechanism that became my truth.  A way of surviving something.  This year it has been like my creative self (messy and chaotic) wouldn't let me move forward until my two lives got in line with each other.  I'm not sure exactly how they became two separate places for me.  Maybe it is about letting go with the paint that has been helping me find my authentic self in life.  I'm not sure what it is really.

I'm consciously choosing to surrender daily.  The incredible thing is that the more I surrender, the more I am finding there really isn't much I have control over at all and probably never did.   I'm learning not to hold on so tight.   I am settling into the notion that surrendering is more about yielding and moving with than a moving against and there is something kind of beautifully nurturing about that.

If I gently move together with the currents and the tides of my life, I might just be okay.