When I have experienced fatigue and burnout… I can take rather long to return to my happy place due to fear and anxiety.

I tend to find myself popping in and out and not committing to serious time or serious work. It’s almost like I trick my creative mind into thinking, it’s not really creating so as not to overwhelm it because if I get overwhelmed I may never return. The fear sends me into freeze or flight mode and both of which I have been doing since my last auction, understandably.

There is no better way for me to find my way back home than through beautiful non-committal play. Not taking myself or my work too seriously. After all there is that perfect quote from Julia Cameron who says “Serious art is born from serious play.” I do know I live by this quote even when I’m operating from a healthy space #inmystudio. Most of my best creative ideas are born from non-committal play. I heard another brilliant quote last week by Martha Beck…. “The opposite of anxiety is creativity”.

I almost dropped my phone. … It’s not calm!!! It’s creativity!!! Then this means it’s an action word.

I mean, of course, we know this, right…. Us creativities use our creativity to ground ourselves and use it as a way to manage many things. Yet at the the same time our fears and anxieties can keep us from creating too. If we can show up in spite of ourselves, we can get past ourselves and heal our fears and anxieties with beautiful time in the seat and maybe this is through non-committal play.

I apologise if I have shared this concept before in one of my many epiphanies but it feels a new to me right now in this current season and maybe it is just deeper levels of leaning into the way I work and create and finding my own literacy and peace about it.

After Christmas I spent sometime with two of my creative friends and I showed them how to play with cyanotype sun printing. I used authentic Japanese washi paper, old ephemera papers and fabric because I knew I wanted to incorporate these elements into my backgrounds for paintings and mixed media pieces. I loved working with nature from my own garden. This is my first attempt playing with this concept in a painting. I still have many layers to go but I love this color combination.

We met up again a few weeks ago and this time they shared their technique of using old photographs and cyanotype sun printing. How utterly exquisite. I can’t wait to experiment with some of my own images. I used her collection of images to practice. I loved working together with them once again, for this play date. So grateful for my local art friends.

Recently, I had a few hours to burn while I was on a Zoom Course and luckily I could be present with my screen off and just listen. So I played and listened. I safe way for me to start a new blank canvas is with my graphite water soluble pencil and neocolors and Titanium white paint (Golden). I worked backwards and forwards until this interesting soul showed up. We went through some strange stages as it took me some time to get my eye back in but I love where we ended together. I still have a ways to go in terms of deeper layers. If you look closely she has some ears. I look forward to finding my way back here. Currently I have around 21 unfinished pieces #InMyStudio.

This is what happens when I non-commitally play and dabble = lots of unfinished works.

I have this gorgeous BIG works in progress. Yes I am finally facing my BIG untouched canvases. They have been calling for me for some time and I am trying to be courageous and challenge myself to work bigger again. This is how far I got in my first sitting and obviously I have a long road ahead of me but I am ready for the journey. I can’t wait to get back here too.

I haven’t wanted to share too much of my works in progress because I can get a little locked into the finished curated works look and when Courteney was here the other day she asked me why I am not sharing more of all the little things I’ve got on the go. I want to be more mindful about this. I know it appears that I have been MIA the last 8 months but I have been showing up in this odd way of my mind not clocking it. I know it’s a little tricksy and a little naughty but I am here.

Please let me know if you also do these little quirky little things to get your hours in. That being said, May is here and my film season is officially over. We closed off some things today and last bit tomorrow and I am beside myself excited. I already have my studio schedule worked out of new, beautiful, unafraid time in the seat.

Looking so forward and looking forward to sharing more with you as I go.

Much love, xxx