This weekend past Kitty and I escaped to the beautiful Kogelberg Nature Reserve and Mountains for a Silent Retreat. We went together with my oldest friend from school, we are still connected after all these years. We had been planning this trip since April and it was hard to believe it had arrived. Our hearts were expectant and our bodies were ready too.
We arrived on Friday afternoon and the drive into the mountains with all those yellows and greens were like my color palette in life form. I couldn't believe the synchronicity of that. It felt like I was in another country. As we hit the nature reserve, the cellphone signal was gone and I thought I would struggle, but I really didn't. Plus our schedules were full on so I didn't have too much time to think about connecting outside. We were connecting right here in the present. Digz and Corks were also away for the weekend doing a stage race.
Our days were filled with yoga, meditative yoga and quiet and gentle sessions of being introspective, intentional and deep thinking. We also shared beautiful intimate meals together. Our teachers were really two of the most beautiful people I've met in a long time and our little group was quite something. Some of us knew each other from gym and other places and there was a unity with us that often happens when one is on retreat. I never forget how meaningful this is. It was hard work and deep work too. It was a slower yoga than some of the gym classes I do and I've realised I love this way more, it suits my temperament and nature much more.
I think I will tuck this experience away deep inside as one of the most moving things I've done in a long time. The yoga was the most beautiful to me. I learnt so much about was my breathing technique and also my tummy. I don't know why that affected me so much but I think it has to do with the work I've been doing this year in surrendering. Funny enough the name of the retreat was "LetGo". I realise I hold my tummy in so tight all the time, without knowing it, I'm always clenching. I am still holding on so damn tight. Although I've been doing the daily work in yielding and moving with rather than against... you know, like my paint, creativity, life or everything else really, I still have so much work to do. I shared more about it previously, in this blog post here.
It hit me hard this weekend and my body isn't quite there yet. It felt like deeper work in this area. Like bringing my body in line with the thoughts I've been having this year. Maybe deeper levels to complement the work I've been doing with Gillian, my art and creativity. I don't know, I'm still unpacking it. But as I slow down and contemplate, release my tummy and breathe out, I will continue to do the work and that this was the start of something rather beautiful.