It was all about Kitty...

We had planned this day for Kitty for months.  We wanted to spoil her purely and simply because she's amazing.  Turning 17 was way more important to her than turning 16 was and we wanted this day to be one she would remember, always.  Not only did it rain beautifully on her special day which was a beautiful gift in itself but she had been saving for months for her record player.

I knew I wanted to help her little dream come true.  Finding a red record player was just an absolute bonus.  Corks spent the morning scouting through many lps to find some we knew she would love and she did.  She loves old music and what better way to play them the old fashioned way.

She had an incredible day at school with her friends too and just had a stunning birthday week.  I couldn't have planned it better myself.  It was important to her and she felt so loved.

Mission accomplished.

She wanted to spend the day in one of her fav places in Cape Town, so we booked this for the weekend.  She woke up on Sunday morning with a full head cold and was feeling grotty but we went anyway, we knew it would cheer her up.  We had a lovely day out.  It's always a treat of treats to visit here, browse the beautiful artisan shops and the harbor and just move slowly together.

We found a delicious bakery and sat outside eating gorgeous pastries.

I love these kind of birthdays, when we adventure together just the 4 of us and dream out loud and it feels like we are floating.  It's always good for the heart.  17 has felt huge for all of us and I can't believe our baby girl is maturing at such a rapid pace.

She's one cool kid and I'm so grateful for her in my life.

Moving slowly...

We are slowly getting there together.

Painting her face is up in my {Held}Captive classroom.  I'm busy filming and finishing her story.  She's feeling vulnerable to me.  Maybe it's her body language or maybe she's picking that up from me.  Either way, I look forward to finishing her.  I am loving her.

  In between being #inmystudio and completing creative tasks, I have also been bogged down with administration...  Ordering my new batch of bags with modifications and with swingtags.  Getting my taxes up to date and dealing with some shipping issues.  I have been working at the film office (work work) because it's filming season and I am still editing and filming odd things here and there.  I have some other things in the pipeline and will share soon.

So although I'm working slowly I am getting there steadily.

Cry me a river...

I already knew last year that I was working at such a pace and sharing my journey on my blog pretty much started becoming more about sharing upcoming things I was involved in, as opposed to sharing my heart.  I knew I wanted to be more {vulnerable} this year.  This space for me has always been a place to process my creative endeavours.  Mainly for myself as a way of unpacking my creative struggles and celebrating small victories, mixed in with a bit of real life and the things that are precious to me.  It has always been my safe place, my refuge.  When I started my blog, I made a silent vow to never talk politics or anything negative.  My creativity is such a beautiful part of my life and I want to share that.

I feel that the world currently is not a securely held place at the best of times and it is hard not to take that all on.  This is my little corner to help me feel loved and safe in a world that doesn't always afford me the luxury of that.  Being a sensitive person, I know I feel the weight of the earth groaning and some days I am overwhelmed.  

“Survival lies in sanity, and sanity lies in paying attention.”

— Julia Cameron

So that all being said - let's talk about our water crisis.  Thank you for the letters and messages about our water crisis.  It's lovely to know you hold us in this.  My special online friend asked me why haven't I been sharing about our hardships and why am I only sharing how amazing life is.  I felt convicted because it touched my {vulnerability} nerve but how do I do this without touching on politics or the state of our country's affairs and how do I do that without going against what this space means to me.  I am conflicted. How do I be real and vulnerable without whining about how hard my life in Africa is, right?

I don't want to do that.

Cape Town is my beautiful home and this is where I have lived the longest.  I love where we live and on the most part I am in love with our life.  I know it could be better but this is Africa and it will never be without it's challenges.  I get that.  I don't think there is a perfect place in the world either.  I think every country has it's own unique set of problems.

Cape Town is in a water crisis due to mismanagement, lack of foresight/planning and of course, corruption.  Maybe even denial.  So what is the upside to all of this... to me the upside of crisis is always creativity and innovation.  I am already seeing how we as a family are changing the way we think about water.  I am seeing companies and concerns pulling together with innovative ideas to do better and be better.  To conserve and preserve.  I am excited and so encouraged.  I hope we will never go back to wasteful indulgent ways of using water.  When you are down to measuring every drop, it matters.

In terms of the political climate in our country, it is bad and most days I am ashamed of it and that this is our story.  But we are on the brink of big change so today I have a tiny ounce of hope again.  Rebuilding takes time and I am hoping we move into a new season.  There is enough in the news and online about our now ex-President.  Please feel free to google it.

“The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight. The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.... and the reward for attention is always healing.”

— Julia Cameron

So for the moment I spend time focusing on the goodness I can find in the small things around me.

I focus on the things that delight me so I can cope with it all.  So I can heal my heart that is aching deeply for the state of affairs of my second country of origin.  We fled the first when I was 5, but that's another story for another time.  The small things I find that bring me joy makes me feel, no... make me know that this life is worth living. I have so much to be grateful for.

Fear is our reality, yes because we have poverty and crime and yes, it is challenging but I am fully engaged and fully here!  From what I see on the news fear might be becoming everyone's reality.  The world is in a weird space and I've been saying for a long time, Mother Earth is groaning.

Life is beautiful.  It's not perfect, but it's enough, for now. 

I get to come home after a full day in the city, which I love, to my sweet little home and beautiful studio that I am so grateful to have and I get to try find and make beautiful everyday and just for a precious moment I get to forget the woes of the world and get to focus on goodness.

And then I get to share that with you.  Thank you for giving me that.

365TinyCaptures...

This week was filled with much goodness... BirthdayLove, Corks winning the silver medal at The South African Road Champs.  Beautiful roses, road tripping, gorgeous forest walks and a painting done of me by my very special friend, Ariane Bell.

It was a good week.  #soGrateful

BirthdayLove...

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

I really had such a beautiful day.

It was a quiet, gentle, kind and soft day and really the best way I could have got to spend my birthday.  Thank you for all the love and messages, I especially loved the "one to one" messages.  My day was filled with all the things that are totally filling my love tank at the moment.

My special family put together my own HyggeBox which just moved me so deeply because it showed me that they have been listening to my heart and musings about Hygge of late and what has been occupying my heart at the moment.  I loved that.

I wasn't sure how I was feeling about turning 45 but all 'n all I think this is a good place to be halfway/midlife.  I know it's a weird concept but it has got me thinking about it.  I have been lost in my thoughts about it and I know one thing is for certain, I am not taking a single moment for granted.

#SoGrateful

Weekly walks...

The highlight to my weeks continue to be my beautiful walks in the forest. I’m finding it very healing and nurturing to my soul.  I can see and feel how dry it is.... the dust is something terrible.  Yet even in the dryness I am still finding life, blossoms and color and that is still amazing me.

“The reward for attention is always healing”

— Julia Cameron

I love this surreal capture so much, the lighting and moment completely spontaneous.

I love the alchemy of unaltered photography and every now and again I get to find one in amongst all the captures that completely astound me.  I am so grateful for this captured moment in time.

“Attention is an act of connection.”

— Rainer Maria Rilke

A little birdie told me...

In December my special friend, Kathy was part of Stephanie Gagos' Christmas Auction and I managed to win the bid on this sweet sweet little darling.  There is nothing more sacred than receiving beautiful art in the mail and opening that box to find an incredible soul on the inside.  Even when you know what you have ordered, seeing it in person is quite a different story.

To me, it's a most precious thing.

This amazing birdie lives on my desk and sits right up close to me while I work.  With her little upturned face, she always waits for me to loving look down on her before my day starts.

Thank you Kathy Lewis for your beautiful work and friendship, always.

The Little book of Hygge

This is where I've been deep thinking and loving every moment of it.

I have walked away from this book knowing unequivocally that we are a "hyggely" family through and through.  I do believe it is the core of who we are together and we just didn't realise it had a name and I kind of love that a lot.  I love the values and principles so much.

“Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience, rather than about things. It is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let our guard down.” 

“Hygge is humble and slow. It is choosing rustic over new, simple over posh and ambience over excitement. In many ways, hygge might be the Danish cousin to slow and simple living.” 

- Meik Wiking

I loved the simple delight of this book and principles and gave me so much to think about my own life and reaffirming some of the things I had already being saying and thinking for some time.  He just said it in such a beautiful way.  I am busy reading his next book too.

"Hygge has been translated as everything from the art of creating intimacy to cosiness of the soul to taking pleasure from the presence of soothing things. My personal favourite is cocoa by candlelight..."

31Days of Gratitude...

January came and went in a blur and so much happened.

Some tough moments and some easier but the single act of seeking helped me find so much...

It helped me find sweetness in the mundane of traffic, to appreciate the most excellent moments and hold them a little longer.  It helped me capture intention... like daily drawings and help me see abundance in the simple things around me like my streets lined with blooming flowering trees.

SisterLove - Part II

I am so thrilled to share that I finished painting, filming and editing my Part II of SisterLove yesterday and it has been uploaded in the HeldCaptive Classroom.

I am pleased it came together for you.  Thank you for patiently waiting for me to find our ending.  I so appreciated the space to find my feet and to finish strong.

I also included a bonus video for you on how to paint Frangipanis.

I hope you enjoy this final part as much as I did putting it together of you.

I have some other small things to add to the classroom this week.  Looking forward to tying up those loose ends.  I know I would like to add in some bonus things too eventually.

I will keep you posted as I go.

Follow the button above if you are still interested in joining my {Held}Captive Class.  It is still available to join anytime.

Much Love, Jeanne-Marie

#365TinyCaptures...

It's been a good week and there was so much to find and be grateful for.  I received mail 3 times this past week and I am thrilled to see some things coming through at last.  Some things as far back as October 2017.  I received this incredible print for Carole Shoaf, a new friend I got to meet in North Carolina last year.  I also received incredible packages from Robin Laws and Jane Halsey last week.  I'm so grateful for the love and generosity.  Truly.

Although I'm back at work work and have to deal with the mundane of traffic some days, I still found goodness along the way.  I am not sure who put this love up in random places but I do approve.

Day22 - HappyMail thank you Carole

Day23 - Finding love in strange places

Day24 - GraphiteLove

Day25 - HappyMail thank you Robin

Day27 -  Newlands Forest, walking again

Day28 - First painting of the year

The highlight of my week was taking my first walk with Digby in our beautiful forest for the first time in almost a year.  It is the first time he's been able to do any kind of walking / hiking since his accident without crutches or his boot.  It was a good day.

It made me realise how much we had been missing the past while and how grateful I am for the simple pleasures of walking.

Day26 - HibiscusLove, my other favourite flowering tree

I am loving seeking and finding beautiful along the way.

Love, Jeanne-Marie

A little walk about...

I seriously can't believe it's been almost a whole year since we walked together in our beautiful forest.  I have missed it so much.  I just didn't realise how much.

We were so busy coping with Digby's accident and life after that and the craziness of last year that we hadn't fully grasped just how much we had lost in terms of our quality of life.  How we stopped walking and hiking over and above his cycling.  We took this simple ability for grant.

Digby has been learning to walk again without pain and limp and the progress has been tedious and slow.  That being said, we are grateful for each new day that gets a little easier.

We aren't there yet and getting a tiny taste of something so familiar as walking in our beautiful forest felt overwhelming and deeply emotional.  We totally took for granted that we could run down the road, walk up the mountain or cycle around the Peninsula.  As an active family, it has been a massive blow to our life and today we understood what it was we had actually lost last year.

We had no idea while we were going through it, we were so busy surviving.

It is a long walk back but for now we look forward to the day when there will be no swelling or pain, to have total mobility, agility and restoration.  We continue to walk in hope and look forward to many more gentle walks in our forest and on our beautiful mountain.

Love, me

Dabbling with my paints...

I have quite a few pieces lying around my studio from my {Held}Captive Class.  Some were unfinished and some I thought were finished but sometimes they call me back to do more.  This is a good place for me to warm up... it feels safer and a less intimidating.  It is like having an underpainting and I get to keep on playing.  I love going back to old pieces.  It is part of why I never throw failed pieces out.

When all else fails, I still have a prepped canvas to work with.

I loved playing here last week.

Dipping my brushes in beautiful paint... felt like Christmas.  A real gift.

Although I haven't felt ready for much, I sure did miss this and this felt good.

Much love always, Jeanne-Marie

Lost at sea...

Okay, so what is it that is making me feel so bluesy at the start of each new year...  I have been getting up early to write and work through some of it.  I think it's partly coming down from such big years that have been project driven that has left me feeling a little lost at sea with what to do next.  That coupled with fatigue, which is understandable.

When I do big projects that help give me direction the whole year through, suddenly waking up on the 1st of January with nothing to do appears a little frightening... right?

Although to be free of obligation is good for me too.

So with no goals or ideas for the year ahead - I feel a little like a fish out of water.

But I am working on it.

The biggest step I took this week was sharing my struggles with some of my dear friends.  Just to quietly whisper that I was feeling lost made me feel less alone and I'm so grateful for that.

We set up some accountability and daily check ins to help us through our slumps and it also helped me realise I wasn't the only one struggling to kick start this year with gusto.  So on that note, I'm giving myself permission to ease into 2018 gently with my pencil and eraser in hand.

To show up quietly and slowly and to give my creative soul the space to heal and recover, the space to breath and sigh, just a bit.  And of course space to rediscover... what's next.

Beautiful Bags...

After using my bag everyday since I got it, it was time for a clean.

Although Township Bags don't recommend submerging the bag in water, I did... partly because I was curious and you know I need to test everything. Plus I'm practical and I don't have time to fuss.

I wanted a thorough wash and I wanted to see what would happen. 

---

I threw it in the washer on a short cold wash cycle because it is 100% cotton.

I am happy to say that the image on the front of the bag is completely colorfast.  There was a slight variance to the size of the bag due to the fact that Township uses 100% Organic Cotton that is not treated with chemicals.   My bag is still gorgeous, much softer and beautifully organic.  I do love cotton.  I am thrilled with the durability and complete functionality of my Beautiful Bags.

I am one happy girl.

I'm heading back to Township Bags in the week to hopefully process my next batch of bags.  We will be working on some new concepts for my second batch.  I will be testing some different images too and keeping some of the popular ones.

#prettyexcited

#365TinyCaptures...

Week 3

I had to keep things pretty simple this week because I was mostly in bed with food poisoning and didn't get out and about much.  I also got to use my #WaybackWednesday lifeline because I really didn't leave my room.  It was good to find old pictures of our old life in our RedVan and feel nostalgic.

#15 Getting my Notebooks ready for 2018

#17 Wayback Wednesday - Life in the Van

#16 This Crazy Girl is home

Corks got back from her cycling training camp with 750km's in her tired legs.  She also headed to Western Cape Champs today.  Kitty went back to school and Digs back to work this week and the routine is fully back in swing.  I managed to get all my paperwork filed and admin done in between naps.

I think I'm almost all back on track with life.

#18 Back to School

#19 Back to Yoga

#20 Getting my Studio sorted and loving it

I managed to get back into my studio this weekend for a little graphite play too.

#21 GraphiteLove

Have a powerful week ahead.

Love Me.

Big Finale piece...

This was one of my last paintings for 2017 - it was my big finale painting of #FriendshipLove for my {Held}Captive class.  It is a BIG beautiful canvas filled with special friends and it was a tribute painting dedicated to YOU and our incredible online community that has so touched and changed my life through the past few years!

It's about love, it's about support and much much more.

This piece is currently up #inmystudio overlooking my work desk.

Thank you for lovingly journeying with me through my {Held}Captive Class and sharing incredible tenderness with me through my 2017 year and more.

No words can ever express how much it has meant to me and for now I'm loving having this touchstone piece close to me too.

Much love, Jeanne-Marie

#365TinyCaptures...

Week 2

I am loving being mindful of the beauty around me.  Seeking always helps me find and it seems to slow my heart and mind right down to absorb it all.  I don't want to take anything for granted and I don't want to miss a single thing.  How incredible to be ever present in a beautiful moment in each day to see, capture and hold.  I can't tell you how much I love that.

#8 My Favorite Flowering Tree - TheFrangipaniTree  They are all over Cape Town at the moment.

#9 Garden Love TerraCotta pots

#10 My own FrangipaniTree

#11 Spending time with MyLove

#12 KalkBayLove

#13 I love living by the Sea

#14 Sick in Bed, so grateful for my safe place

Riley survived his little operation and is recovering well, Sandy's recovery will be slower and she's getting lots of TLC.  This week was full of admin and being the last week of holidays for Kitty and Digz, it was nice to do some holiday things.

#365Grateful

My new blank canvas...

I think my garden is my new blank canvas and my shovel... my paintbrush.

I am soooo enjoying being in my sandpit and beginning to see something come together.  Yesterday my grey pavers arrived and we started placing them and working on the layout accordingly to our plan.  Our rough draw-up garden plan was definitely not to scale so for some zones we have had to get extra things but I love how I'm learning on the go about scale.

I am already finding some elements and zones that are completely pleasing to my soul and I'm looking forward to seeing things settle into place.  It is a physical labor as much as it is a creative one and I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying that.  I am enjoying the clean lines and there is definitely a feeling of calm to the space.

I'm looking forward to this weekend, to continue this creative play.

Have a beautiful week.

The Year of the House...

Being home a bit during the holidays and going slower has me looking around and realising our home needed some maintenance. I have neglected much last year because we were mostly on the run and I had no time really.  I'm loving taking a moment and finding balance.

We are slowly moving through each room - painting. clearing and sorting, which has been long overdue.  I am focusing on doing something small everyday.  Even if it's moving a piece of furniture around or putting up a picture.  I am real home body so this is ministering to my heart big time.  We are loving being home at the moment.

We have decided we are going to focus on making our "Old Girl" beautiful this year and we have all jumped onboard with this project.  Once we have finished working on the inside we will think about painting the outside, before winter.  Like all creative projects, they take time to unfold and come to fruition and I am thoroughly enjoying the process.

It's a great way to start the year.